THE POWER OF THEY: Who Are 'They' and What Are They Doing in My Head Anyway?

When you're making a decision, do you sometimes hear a little voice in your head that says, “But what will people think?”

Or maybe you hear, "But what would the neighbors say?" 

You probably do hear it, because most of us have at one time or another.  It’s almost as if we have a critical group of invisible chaperones standing along the sidelines, waiting to nix any ideas we might have that don’t follow their exact expectations for us.  For lack of a better expression, we’ll call that group of nay-sayers ‘They.’

And what we want to look at, as you start exploring your retirement actions and options, is The Power of They.  That is, how have these make-believe people held you back, off and on through your life, when it comes to your thoughts, dreams, decisions and actions.

Who Are 'They'?

So who are 'They' and who gave them the right to preempt what we each know deep down inside is best for us?  Well, starting when we were little children, our parents often used that invisible group we call ‘They’ to get us to behave the way our parents wanted us to.  Who knows, maybe we wore them out with our arguing, or by asking that never-ending question:  “But why?” 

When “Because I said so …” didn’t work anymore, our parents called on ‘They’ to keep us in line.

Do you remember hearing something like “You can’t go out with that boy, what would your grandfather think?”  Or “You can’t go to the movies on a weeknight, what would the neighbors say?”

It was convenient because they knew you couldn’t run next door and plead your case with the neighbors.  And you were too young or too respectful to say, “Who cares what the neighbors think!”  [Besides, in a lot of ways, our parents did actually care …]  But usually the argument ended then and there, we complied … and then we pouted.

Whatever the reason, today too many of us still have those patterns indelibly marked on our brains and we've continued to listen to the voices without asking why.  Maybe we don’t even realize we’re doing it.

If you think back, you might find that you’ve already made decisions that led to missed opportunities because you didn’t follow your instinct, and instead followed the crowd:  those people who have held you back all your life ... the ‘They’ crowd.

And, if you think about it some more, this is how we developed the pattern of giving up responsibility for major decisions:  our life decisions.  And how we backed away from acting upon our dreams before we even started because 'They’ – whoever ‘They’ are – wouldn’t approve and think we're going to fail anyway.

The Power of ‘They’ is the power of no action … the hidden influencer that has kept too many of us from reaching our dreams. 

Taking a Realistic Look

But, if you're willing to look at your reality, 'They' do not make your mortgage payments, or stay awake at night wondering how you're going to retire.  So it's time to look that old, worn-out 'They' square in the face and tell it to get out of your way.

The adventure I hope you'll join me on with Plan B Retirement will lead you to look at lots of different parts of your present life, future dreams and flights of fancy in all sorts of new ways.  And after you look at everything, with mu guidance … once you reassess where you stand now and where you want to be … you might be tempted to take some unconventional actions to get there.

And you can get there.  Many people already have, and so can you.

What you don’t want is to have ‘They’ get in the way of your future happiness. 

By the way, it’s not hard to strip all the power away from ‘They’.  In fact, just knowing the phenomenon exists is nine-tenths of the effort.

The other tenth just means creating reminders for yourself:  whenever you start hearing that little voice … that judgmental, critical voice … just put it back in its place.

What This Means to You

As you explore everything that's open to you, you certainly don’t need to be shackled by a worn-out trick your parents used to keep you in line when you were three!

You, as an intelligent mature adult, are perfectly capable of making your own decisions.  You don’t need nosy chaperones.  And when you start acting on your decisions and taking responsibility for them, you become empowered, focused, driven.  In short, Master of your own Destiny.

Remember, you’re talking about the rest of your life here …

Ready?

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